"Cats are hairy little dictators."
-Molly (@holycatswhatnow) via Twitter
"I’ve been doing impersonations of Bane from ‘Dark Knight Rises’ and I think I sound closer to a muffled Mr. Belvedere."
-Brooks Terry via Facebook
“The bird outside my window was totally tweeting the intro beats to brass monkey this morning.”
-Heather Ivy (@heatherivy) via Twitter
"Just watched an otherwise sane looking woman try to use a Gameboy Color as a phone."
-David Sizemore (@david_sizemore) via Twitter
“I’m gonna make a perfume called True Desire and it’ll smell like waffles.”
- Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) via Twitter
If the TV show “Community” was a hill, I would roll down it until Jesus exploded into a million stars and swordfish.
- Phongh Tran (@phonghtran) via Twitter
"With the humidity and the bugs out, I’m surprised I didn’t end my bike ride looking like an Everything Bagel."
-Joey Egly on Facebook